The Onlysexual Web-Wide Purity Test

Version Sex.2 - 400 Questions

Table O' Contents



Public domain; no copyright. All rights wronged, all wrongs reversed. Up with going down. The risen flesh commands: let there be love. Murphy's law on sex: Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics.

This document was not sponsored by the Department of Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency , and was not monitored by the Air Force Avionics Laboratory. The views and conclusions contained in this document should not be interpreted as representing the official policies, either expressed or implied, of the Defense Advanced Projects Agency or the US Government. Neither should it be interpreted nor inferred that the authors/contributors have actually performed any or all of the actions contained herein, but they most likely have.

Feel free to distribute at Will (or anyone else you know, for that matter), but please don't change the intro (but if you absosmurfly MUST do that, at least leave the credits in... we worked hard, dammit! :) ).

Genesis / History:

Instructions for Use:

This is a fairly long test. It starts out tame and quickly gets worse (or better, depending on your viewpoint). There are many ways of going about taking this test. You can, of course, as your right, guaranteed by the Constitution, be anti-social and sequester yourself in your room and take this test all by yourself; however, we feel that the most fun way to utilize this test is to hold a Purity Test Party. All you need is one copy of the test, and a bunch of friends. (Lots of writing implements and paper would be useful too.) The person with the copy of the test is the test administrator; he or she reads the questions out loud and everybody else writes down their answers. We have no definite rules as to whether the participants are required to divulge their answers; that is up to the group to decide. However, being open with your answers leads to some great conversations. No matter what you decide, each person's purity score should be made common knowledge. This works great at parties and lets everybody know who's easy and who isn't, so you'll know who to go home with. Don't leave home without it.

Of course this is just a set of questions and does not have to be used as a test that yields a score. Another popular use is to mark questions of interest (with different letters or colors for like, dislike, want to try, uninterested) and exchange interests with your partner. If done on a separate sheet of graph paper, this can turn into a colorful mosaic.

On the whole, this is biased for experience and, hence, age. If you're still too young to qualify, well, these things take time. For people who are not yet sexually active, this version may serve as a source of ideas, but actually taking the test may be "pointless."

Chaste makes waste. Virginity can be cured.

Remember: the conjugation is "I am erotic, You are kinky, They are perverts"

All questions in this test pertain to events that you can actually remember. Anything you have heard your parents or friends tell you that you can't remember must be repeated for credit. You are the judge as to whether your experience entitles you to a "yes" or a "no" answer to each question, but it can be helpful and fun to discuss such questions with the group.

Definitions:

(for the innocent, naive, or too busy)
Necking
the kissing or stroking of a persons head or neck, the stroking of arms hands or back.
Petting
necking plus the caressing or fondling of other portions of anatomy; through or underneath clothing.
Masturbation
the rubbing/feeling of your genitals. Doesn't need to lead to orgasm.
Mutual Masturbation
one person masturbating another person. A.K.A. heavy petting.
Sex
vaginal, anal, or oral sex. Any penetration counts - it doesn't need to lead to orgasm. Use of dildo-like objects can count, especially when an activity is physically impossible otherwise.
Sexual activity
any activity fitting any of the above definitions, plus what your puerile imagination dreams up.
SO
significant other (girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse)

Scoring:

The most common method is to make those little hash marks for "yes" answers (the ones that you make four of them and then cross a line through them for five... easy to count). Take the total, subtract from 400, and divide by 4 to find your "purity percentage," more commonly called a "purity score".

We would now like to bring to your attention that there is no passing nor failing score. Therefore, one really shouldn't worry too much about getting a high score...even if you do get giggled at. Remember that nobody can increase their score, the only way to go is down.

--- ALL TECHNICALITIES COUNT ---

And, most of all, this is entertainment. Have as much fun in the taking as was had in the making.

Note to the test administrator:

Even though we tried to prevent it, this test can get monotonous. Try to "liven" it up by adding comments and goofiness wherever you want to. Encourage testees to be open with their answers. Taking a break is allowed, but not recommended. Plan on a couple hours. Order some pizza. Get a keg. Whatever. Basically, have a Purity Test Party.


Perverts Anonymous Qualification Exam

primary writer as of version 6.6c: Steamed Rhubarb Fondue (P7A77), contributing writers: Wolvorine (Owen Kuhn), Astra (JAN!), and friends and family of The Erotic Nightmare Revue, E-mail any questions or comments to: p7a77@nextsrv.cas.muohio.edu

Versions 6.Sex to Sex.2 edited by Mark Gray with a little help from his friends.


Good Clean, 'Wholesome' Activities

Have you ever:
  1. played Twister?
  2. eaten food (banana, ice cream cone, etc.) in a provocative manner?
  3. enjoyed spreading suntan lotion or something similar on someone you liked?
  4. sent an anonymous love letter?
  5. worn a strapless gown?
  6. received a really good massage?
  7. given one?
  8. fantasized about Smurfs, Tiny Toons, or any other cartoon character?
  9. fantasized that you were somebody else?
  10. wished you were of the opposite sex?
  11. worn clothing that was "revealing" or that emphasized 'strategic' locations)?
  12. read the Song of Solomon (for you heathens it's in the Bible)?
  13. photocopied personal portions of your anatomy?
  14. owned an erotic art piece (like the cat woman's phallic symbol in A Clockwork Orange)?
  15. sculpted an erotic or sexually explicit art piece (clay, wood, soap, mashed potatoes, anatomically correct snowman/woman, etc.)?

How Low Will You Go?

(Ethical Considerations)

Have you ever:

  1. implied greater or lesser sexual experience than you actually possessed?
  2. lied about your sexual preference to avoid a date?
  3. told the truth about your sexual preference to avoid a date?
  4. not thought it promiscuous having different partners monthly?
  5. -daily?
  6. -concurrently?
  7. had a one-night stand? (sex is implied)
  8. had sex with someone within a day of learning their name?
  9. had sex with more than 10 people (total - not necessarily at once)?
  10. had sexual activity with someone ten or more years younger than you?
  11. -with someone ten or more years older than you?
  12. gone to a motel for the sole purpose of sexual activity?
  13. fantasized during sexual activity about somebody other than the one present during sexual activity?
  14. pretended you were having a good time when you weren't (i.e. faked an orgasm)?
  15. been under the influence of alcohol or another drug during sexual activity?
  16. gone steady with more than one person simultaneously?
  17. -with everyone's full knowledge and consent (polyamory)?
  18. been in adultery (either as the married person or the other person)?
  19. been on either end of "consensual" statutory rape? (consent is not legally possible for people under the age of consent)
  20. engaged in consensual incestuous activity (incest is best - put your sister to the test) (different relatives are off-limits in different places)?
  21. been in or judged a wet t-shirt contest?
  22. been in or judged a whose-better-physically-equipped contest?
  23. had sex without the use of a birth control method more effective than prayer (Oh God don't let me/her get pregnant, rhythm counts)?
  24. had sex with the withdrawl method of birth control? (Slightly more effective than prayer. Substantial penalty for late withdrawl.)
  25. tried to convince your partner that sex would help prevent or relieve cramps? (Yes, orgasm can help.)
  26. been to a "public bath"?
  27. given or received money for sexual activity (prostitution)?
  28. been interrupted by the police during any sexual activity?
  29. intentionally eavesdropped while others were engaged in sexual activity?
  30. been a voyeur (watched sexual activity without their knowledge)?

Who Says You Need a Partner? OR I'm The Best I've Ever Had

(Auto-erotica and Mono-Sexualism)

(while the actions described here are usually done in private, most count if others were present)

Have you ever:

  1. had an arousing or sexually explicit dream (Wet dreams and the like)?
  2. skinny dipped?
  3. read or bought pornographic material that might be described as really gross?
  4. subscribed to any erotic, pornographic or sexually explicit periodicals? (include magazines, rec.arts.erotica, alt.sex.*, alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.*)
  5. read classic pornographic books (Candy, Fanny Hill, Naked Came the Stranger, Lady Chatterly's Lover)?
  6. been bored while reading erotic, pornographic or sexually explicit literature?
  7. written erotic, pornographic or sexually explicit literature (lust letters count)?
  8. read the Kama Sutra?
  9. read any sex manuals (e.g. Joy of Sex, Sex: A User's Manual)? Any good recommendations?
  10. read any government report on obscenity?
  11. underlined or marked 'good' parts?
  12. had phone sex with a friend?
  13. called any phone sex numbers (recorded or live)?
  14. worked at a live phone sex number?
  15. masturbated on a regular basis (more than once a week)?
  16. -more than four times in 24 hours?
  17. -to multiple orgasm?
  18. -with a pillow or mattress?
  19. -using a sexual aid (dildo, inflatable doll, etc.)?
  20. -using food?
  21. -using a household appliance (e.g. washing machine on spin cycle)?
  22. -while in a theater?
  23. -while on the phone (no kinky interpretations of "on the phone". This means you were talking to somebody through the phone lines while you were masturbating. The other party need not know what you were doing, you little pervert)?
  24. -while driving?
  25. -in a public bathroom?
  26. -in a public bathroom of the opposite sex?
  27. -in any other public place?
  28. -in the wild?
  29. fantasized about someone masturbating while masturbating?
  30. fantasized while masturbating that you were of the opposite sex?

Non-Platonic Activities

(what have you done?)

Have you:

  1. been involved in kissing below the neck, but not on the hands or arms with a man?
  2. -a woman?
  3. given or received a hickey with a man (or had the attempt)?
  4. -a woman?
  5. given or received a hickey in an intimate location with a man?
  6. -a woman?
  7. had your bare chest fondled or stroked by a man?
  8. -a woman?
  9. stroked or fondled a man's bare chest?
  10. -a woman's?
  11. licked or sucked a man's fingers?
  12. -a woman?
  13. licked, sucked, nibbled or blown into a man's ear?
  14. -a woman's?
  15. licked, sucked or nibbled a man's nipple?
  16. -a woman's?
  17. handled a man's bare genitals?
  18. -a woman's?
  19. had your bare genitals handled by a man?
  20. -a woman?
  21. used sexual activity with a man who was asleep to wake him up?
  22. -a woman?
  23. woken up as a result of a man having sexual activity with you?
  24. -a woman?
  25. watched while a man masturbated?
  26. -a woman?
  27. had a man watch while you masturbated?
  28. -a woman?
  29. performed mutual masturbation with a man?
  30. -a woman?
  31. been given an orgasm by a man?
  32. -a woman?
  33. given a man an orgasm?
  34. -a woman?
  35. tasted a man's orgasmic fluids?
  36. -a woman's?
  37. performed fellatio?
  38. performed cunnilingus?
  39. received oral sex from a man?
  40. -a woman?
  41. performed mutual oral sex ('69') with a man?
  42. -a woman?
  43. had a man orgasm on you?
  44. had a man orgasm in you?
  45. performed anal sex on a man?
  46. -a woman?
  47. received anal sex from a man?
  48. -a woman?
  49. been in a man's company while both of you were nude without anything steamy happening?
  50. -a woman's?
  51. bathed or showered with a man?
  52. -a woman?
  53. washed a man or let him wash you just because it felt nice (not because you were unable to wash yourself)?
  54. -a woman?
  55. had sex with a man while taking a bath or shower?
  56. -a woman?
  57. had sex with a man who was a virgin?
  58. -a woman?
  59. participated in pelvic thrusting with a man while clothed (it really drives you insa-a-ane)?
  60. -a woman?

Green Eggs and Ham

(Locality - Where have you done it?) "have you done it on a plane, have you done it on a train; have you done it in your bed, have you done it on your head; Have you, have you, had green eggs and ham" (with apologies to Dr. Seuss) Have you engaged in sex or mutual masturbation:
  1. in the parents' bed?
  2. on a waterbed?
  3. on the floor?
  4. on a chair, couch, recliner, etc?
  5. on a table or countertop?
  6. on a device not generally used as a table or for sitting or lying on (pool table, piano, pinball machine, jukebox, household appliance, etc.)?
  7. in a kitchen?
  8. in a library?
  9. in a school?
  10. on the roof of a building?
  11. in your or your partner's place of employment?
  12. on or in a national monument?
  13. in a foreign country?
  14. in a place of religion (church, monastery, circle, Stonehenge)?
  15. in a place or contraption of the dead (cemetery, morgue, coffin, hearse, urn, etc)?
  16. during a movie in a theater (e.g. during Rocky Horror, in the back row)?
  17. in a sports area (stadium, court, track, or ballfield)?
  18. in a small vehicle (car, pickup, minivan, golf cart, etc.)?
  19. in a medium-sized vehicle (van, delivery truck, etc.)?
  20. in a large vehicle (semi, RV, tank, etc.)?
  21. in a school bus?
  22. on public transportation (bus, subway, tram, trolley)?
  23. on a train?
  24. in a small boat (canoe, rowboat, personal yacht, sailboat, etc)?
  25. on a ship (battleship, aircraft carrier, cruise ship , etc)?
  26. in an aircraft (airplane, blimp, zeppelin, hovercraft, hot-air balloon, UFO, etc) in flight (joined the mile high club)?
  27. with the operator of a moving vehicle?
  28. as the operator of a moving vehicle?
  29. on horseback (just don't scare the horses)?
  30. on an amusement park ride ( roller coaster, Ferris wheel, carousel, etc.)?
  31. on a suspension device of some kind (hammock, trampoline, trapeze, swing, tightrope, safety net, gravity boots, etc.)?
  32. in an elevator, escalator, dumbwaiter, or other people mover?
  33. in a telephone booth, voting booth, photo booth, or similar enclosure?
  34. at a public event (concert, rally, festival, riot, etc.)?
  35. in a place you were not allowed to be (stranger's property, back room, maintainence tunnel, after closing time in a park, stowed away on a boat, etc.)?
  36. in a tent, gazebo, hedge, shrubbery, cave, or other open-air enclosure?
  37. outdoors (outside any enclosure)?
  38. out in the rain?
  39. up a tree?
  40. in a swimming pool, bathtub, hot tub, sauna or steam bath?
  41. in a natural body of water ( river, pond, waterfall, lake, ocean)?
  42. on the beach?
  43. where the surrounding temperature was below freezing (now that's fucking cold)?
  44. in a semi public location where there was a possibility of discovery?
  45. in a semi public location because there was a possibility of discovery?

Look, Ma, No Hands!

(Style - How many ways have you done it?)

Have you ever:

  1. coined 'pet' names for your or your partner's genitalia?
  2. voluntarily slept in the wet spot?
  3. had a phone call with a parent, spouse, or other important person interrupt sexual activity with someone?
  4. continued sexual activity during such a phone call?
  5. been preoccupied during sexual activity (e.g. television, homework, playing piano, dictating a letter, hacking, sewing, chopping vegetables)?
  6. had your partner be preoccupied during sexual activity?
  7. during sexual activity had any crisis that now causes you great merriment (e.g. the bed broke, couldn't get the condom on)?
  8. had animals walk on or around you during sexual activity?
  9. had nude snapshots taken of you?
  10. taken nude snapshots of someone else?
  11. given nude snapshots, drawings or other artwork, of yourself to someone?
  12. performed ritual sexual activity as part of a religious or magickal practice (Tantric Yoga, Fertility Rites, etc.)?
  13. engaged in sex for more than three hours in a single session?
  14. been awake for eight hours without any clothes on?
  15. devoted an entire day to sexual activity (breaks for eating, etc. are ok)?
  16. been with a lover continuously for 48 hours? (short restroom breaks allowed, sex not required)
  17. carefully planned which music to play during sexual activity?
  18. had sex to classical music (Bolero, Blue Danube, 1812 Overture)?
  19. had sex to Dr. Demento (the radio show or the person)?
  20. had sex to candlelight?
  21. had sex to fireplace light?
  22. had sex to campfire light?
  23. had sex in full lighting?
  24. had sex in absolute darkness?
  25. been a screamer?
  26. caused someone to be a screamer?
  27. disturbed others with the noise from your sexual activity?
  28. had sex while still clothed ('down with trousers, up with dresses!')?
  29. had sex with you on top?
  30. had sex with you on the bottom?
  31. had sex dorsally ('doggy' style)?
  32. had sex sitting up?
  33. had sex standing up?
  34. had sex in the spoon position (lying on your side, both facing the same direction)?
  35. had sex in the wheelbarrow position (remember those "wheelbarrow races" when you were a kid)?
  36. had sex while supporting your partner (physically or financially)?
  37. played "sit-n-spin" (use your imagination)?
  38. gone through two or more sexual positions without the need for re-entry?
  39. had sex in front of or under a mirror?
  40. participated in breast fucking (a.k.a. the Hawaiian muscle-fuck)?
  41. been sore the morning after? (But wasn't it worth it?)
  42. kissed after oral sex before washing?
  43. performed oral sex after intercourse before washing?
  44. talked dirty during sexual activity?
  45. fainted as a result of orgasm? (give them a stud point!)
  46. had your partner faint as a result of orgasm? (take a stud point!)
  47. caused multiple orgasms for someone?
  48. -for someone who didn't think he/she was able?
  49. been caused to have multiple orgasms?
  50. had sex before breakfast?
  51. had sex instead of lunch? (good aerobics and low on calories)
  52. had a 'quickie'?
  53. had sex more than 100 times?
  54. had sex with the same person more than 10 times?
  55. -more than 100 times?
  56. had sex more than five times in twenty four hours?
  57. had sex with more than 1 person in a 24 hour time period?
  58. had sex with both genders in a 24 hour period?
  59. had sex within the last three months?
  60. participated in a fuck-a-thon (to see how many times you can have sex in a set period of time) or other similar "scientific experiment"?
  61. gone out in public after sex without bathing (and you're sure everyone can tell)?
  62. foot masturbated someone?
  63. been foot masturbated?
  64. tongue bathed someone?
  65. been tongue bathed?
  66. sucked the feet or toes of someone?
  67. had someone suck your feet or toes?
  68. been, or kept, a mistress/kept man?
  69. had sex while your or your partner's parents were in the same household?
  70. been engaged in sexual activity when the parent or SO of either of you returned unexpectedly?
  71. walked in on your or a friend's parents?
  72. -your SO?
  73. had as your SO someone whose first language was not yours?
  74. had sexual activity with someone in authority over you (your babysitter, psychiatrist, parole officer, doctor, nurse, therapist, lawyer, judge, instructor, TA)?
  75. -with an intellectual (librarian, author, essayist, philosopher)?
  76. -with someone whose body is in the public eye (a member of a sports team, cheerleader, model, belly dancer, etc.)?
  77. -with an acrobatic-type athlete (gymnast, break dancer, etc.)?
  78. -with a member of an 'out' group (someone you wouldn't take home to meet the family, e.g. a biker, air head, or securities broker)?
  79. -with someone from a culture significantly different from yours (e.g. American/Chinese, devout Catholic/devout Buddhist, Mac user/PC user)?
  80. -with a religious official (minister, nun, rabbi, pope, high priestess, etc.)?

Kids, Don't Try This at Home

(The Erotic, the Kinky, the Tacky, and the possibly Perverted)

Have you:

  1. discussed masturbation (discussing it during a purity test doesn't count)?
  2. discussed oral sex techniques?
  3. given lessons in oral sex techniques ('I'm only going to do this once, so pay attention!')?
  4. demonstrated oral sex techniques for more than one person at a time?
  5. demonstrated oral sex techniques with an assistant?
  6. been the assistant?
  7. accepted an invitation to watch sexual activity?
  8. made an invitation to watch?
  9. been attracted to someone's clothing as much as to the person wearing it?
  10. done a strip tease for someone?
  11. been to a nude beach?
  12. sunned your buns (tanned your can)?
  13. paraded about in the nude (sprints don't count, nor does while searching for undies after a shower. This must be some serious nudeness)?
  14. used your hair for the sexual arousal of others (beards count)?
  15. searched for the G-spot?
  16. found it?
  17. gone on or been the destination of a 'nookie run' over 100 miles?
  18. posed as a model for purposes of erotic, pornographic or sexually explicit art (painting, sculpture, photographs, video, movies, etc.)?
  19. created erotic or explicit art based on a live model?
  20. streaked, flashed or otherwise intentionally displayed your body to the general public without being paid?
  21. streaked, flashed or otherwise intentionally displayed your body to the general public as part of a job (e.g. exotic dancing, modeling very skimpy clothing)?
  22. helped to cover for someone's escapades (provide alibi, accommodations, opportunity)?
  23. been late to work, class or an appointment because you were involved in sexual activity?
  24. had sexual activity (not necessarily simultaneously) with people related to each other?
  25. -as siblings?
  26. -as parent and child?
  27. -as husband and wife?
  28. tag-team seduced someone (you and a friend cooperating) or been seduced by a team?
  29. shaved, colored or bleached your pubic region?
  30. -someone else's pubic region?
  31. had someone else shave your pubic region?
  32. had sex during menstruation?
  33. performed oral sex on a menstruating woman (or been the woman)?
  34. considered semen a part of your diet (15 Calories each)?
  35. handed out condoms as party favors?
  36. discussed favorite brand of condom?
  37. played with a condom (inflated it, filled it with water, unrolled it over your hand - warning: not intended for small children)?
  38. chosen a condom or spermicide for its taste (or lack thereof)?
  39. carried a condom 'just in case'?
  40. tasted your own sexual fluids?
  41. been complimented on your taste?
  42. complimented someone on their taste?
  43. been in a situation where someone's semen was shot any distance?
  44. praised a partner's sexual abilities in the presence of others?
  45. heard a partner praise your sexual abilities in the presence of others?
  46. worn body paint?
  47. painted somebody?
  48. used a feather or other tickling device for the sexual arousal of someone?
  49. used ice for sexual purposes (e.g. a Popsicle, icicle, etc. as a dildo)?
  50. used oils (baby, Wesson, etc) or erotic lotions (motion lotion, etc) for sexual purposes?
  51. used whipped cream for sexual purposes?
  52. had gravy, syrup, honey, chocolate, or other spreadable food licked off you or your partner (things go better with butter)?
  53. used a kiwi (the fruit, the bird, the shoe polish, or a person from New Zealand) for sexual purposes?
  54. used any food not already mentioned for sexual purposes? Which ones?
  55. bought ben-wa balls, a vibrator, or other sex toy?
  56. given or received a sex toy?
  57. been involved in the use of a strap-on dildo?
  58. participated in fisting (see Caligula)?
  59. inserted your finger in another's anus?
  60. performed analingus (oral stimulation of the anus)?
  61. practiced zipitage (the picking of other people's zits)?
  62. been to a burlesque show (Rocky Horror counts)?
  63. been to a peep show or live sex show?
  64. held a private showing of an erotic, pornographic or sexually explicit movie?
  65. practiced "role-playing" for sexual purposes (nurse/patient, teacher/student, border guard/well-endowed co-ed)?
  66. worn a blindfold or had a partner wear one during sexual activity?
  67. cross dressed (dressed in clothing of the opposite sex), other than for a costume party?
  68. had a friend of the opposite sex that you traded clothes with?
  69. worn lingerie?
  70. worn somebody else's lingerie?
  71. worn leather or rubber clothing for sexual excitement?
  72. worn fishnets?
  73. used edible underwear?
  74. had a fetish (leather, rubber, latex, feet, whatever)?
  75. been in a "theme" bar (gay, leather, etc.)?

Don't Worry; I was a Boy Scout

(Bondage and S&M)

Have you ('voluntarily'):

  1. fantasized of being tied up for erotic purposes?
  2. -of tying someone up for erotic purposes?
  3. bought bondage & discipline literature?
  4. spanked anyone before or during sex?
  5. given or received scratch or bite marks during sex?
  6. read anything by the Marquis de Sade?
  7. read "The Story of O" or seen the movie?
  8. used hot candle wax for erotic purposes?
  9. improvised bondage during sexual activity (e.g. holding someone down)?
  10. worn a collar/leash for erotic purposes?
  11. been gagged for erotic purposes?
  12. tied someone up or been tied up for erotic purposes (ropes, scarfs, ties)?
  13. -and had sex?
  14. -and NOT had sex (teased)?
  15. bound someone or been bound in chains (handcuffs, leg irons, plain chain)?
  16. had someone whip you?
  17. -until you bled?
  18. whipped someone?
  19. -until they bled?
  20. played "switch" (been in each role - top/dominant and bottom/submissive)?
  21. had your lips/tongue/nipples pierced?
  22. had your other lips pierced (or penis)?
  23. pierced someone else's lips/tongue/nipples/genitals?
  24. posed for or created B&D drawings, photographs, or movies?
  25. Do you consider bondage a way of showing how much you trust another person?

Old MacDonald had his Farm, E-I-E-I-OHHHHHHH!

(Bestiality)

Have you ever:

  1. flirted with animals?
  2. caused an animal to have an orgasm?
  3. had an orgasm from sexual activity with an animal?
  4. received oral sex from an animal?
  5. performed oral sex on an animal?
  6. had sexual intercourse with an animal?
  7. had sexual activities with a domestic animal (dog, cat, rabbit, rat, etc.)?
  8. had sexual activities with a farm animal (cow, sheep, chicken, etc.)?
  9. had sexual activities with a wild animal (tiger, lion, buffalo, etc.)?
  10. had sexual activities with a particular animal more than once?

Mama Always Told Me to Share

(Group Sexual Activities)

Have you:

  1. skinny dipped with others?
  2. played any game which required the removal of clothing (strip poker, Monopoly, chess, Twister, etc.)?
  3. deliberately lost a game which required the removal of clothing?
  4. played a game which required you or others to perform a sexual action (e.g. spin the bottle)?
  5. kissed more than one person at the same time? (Remove glasses first.)
  6. had sex in the same room with others who were not involved (and maybe didn't even notice)?
  7. had sex while others in the same room had sex (partners not necessarily exchanged)?
  8. been in intimate contact with more than one nude person at a time?
  9. participated in group sex (four or more people, partners exchanged)?
  10. been involved in a menage-a-trois?
  11. participated in a two (or more) in one?
  12. participated in a circle-o-fuck, '69' circle, daisy chain, or similar activity?
  13. been to a party where you and others were coated with something slippery (oil, soap, mud, etc.)?
  14. participated in an orgy or similar group activity (four or more people; everybody touching, kissing, sexually stimulating everybody else)?
  15. participated in more than one orgy or similar group activity with the same group?
  16. participated in an orgy or similar group activity with more than one group?
  17. made an invitation to participate in group sexual activity?
  18. performed oral sex on somebody while (or just after) they had sex with somebody else?
  19. had somebody perform oral sex on you while you were having sex with somebody else?
  20. lived with more than one lover at the same time (one big happy family)?

Meta Questions

Have you ever:
  1. lied on a Purity Test to affect someone's impression of you?
  2. done something with the intent to 'improve' your purity test score, used a test as a check-list, or been inspired to try something after seeing it on a test?
  3. been jealous of, or impressed by, someone else's score?
  4. taken (or are about to be finished with) a group purity test?
  5. taken any form of a purity test more than five times?
  6. administered a group purity test?
  7. participated in a purity test with ulterior motives?
  8. remembered something by taking a purity test?
  9. written or re-written a purity test?
  10. If you've done something not mentioned on this test, say it aloud and let the group decide if you should get a point for it. (maximum one point per person)

Warranty:

We hope that you have enjoyed this test. It does not come with a warranty, nor does it guarantee that it will get you laid or make you somehow somehow better in bed or the haystack. The makers of this test are not responsible for any liabilities or damages resulting from this test, including but not limited to paternity suits.

Disclaimer:

The user of this test acknowledges that sex is a hazardous sport; that a person must copulate in control, and use good judgment at all times; that partners' conditions vary constantly and are greatly affected by weather changes and previous use; and that dirty sheets, variations in terrain and bed surfaces, spouses/pimps/managers, forest growth, rocks and debris, clothed obstacles, and many other natural and man-made obstacles and hazards, including other users and customers, exist throughout the bedroom area. Personal managers (pimps/spouses) and sado-masochistic operations and equipment are constantly in use and may be hazardous to those not copulating in control. Impotence, collisions, and social diseases resulting in injury can happen at any time, even to those copulating in control with proper sexual equipment. Inherent risks are part of the sport and may exist within your partner. As a condition of being permitted to use the facilities of your partner, the user of this test agrees to copulate in control and within the limits of his/her ability, and further acknowledges and accepts these hazards, dangers, and risks and assumes the risk of injury or loss to person or damage to property which might result from use of the partner's facilities.

As a further condition of being permitted to use the facilities of your partner, the customer understands and agrees that: (1) in the event of a transfer of use by another or anything else in the management's opinion is misconduct, misuse, kinky, impotence, or nuisance, this service may be revoked without refund; (2) the partner is the property of the harem and, upon request, s/he must be presented to any authorized representative of the pimp/spouse; (3) sexual equipment must be visibly displayed at all times when you are in any bedroom and when approaching the bed to copulate. Your sexual partner is not transferable; see Theft of Services, V.S.A., sections 2581 and 2582. This product is meant for educational purposes only. Ask your doctor or pharmacist. Do not open back panel; no user serviceable parts inside. Propagate (this test) at will, even without the written permission of the publisher; just don't edit or change it. You may or may not have additional rights which may vary from state to state (i.e. inebriated, ecstasy). Not recommended for children under twelve. Parental guidance discouraged and frowned upon. Pencils, additional paper, and batteries not included. Does not come with any other figures. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem to be right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Net weight before cooking. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error, or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawl. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your cancelled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flame. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. This supersedes all previous notices.

Drive carefully; 90% of the people in the world are caused by accidents.

The above is a public service announcement of this institution.